Friday, May 2, 2008


I was seeing someone local. Someone steady and fair, someone who was always there for me. But you know how those relationships go. Predictable, safe. A little boring. Lacking in variety and excitement. Then I took a trip and met someone in a city a little south of here. He tempted me with pastries and gourmet coffee. He opened new doors for me. He was experienced and ready to fulfill even my most secret wishes. He offered mystery, fantasy and romance. I'll call him "Mr. Big." You can just imagine why! Oh sure, I knew he'd forget about me until the next time I showed up in the city. I knew he'd had a million women before me, and he'd have a million more. But it was too late for me. I'd been seduced. I began planning my trips with him in mind. I even started making lists of all the things I wanted from him, every whim and desire. I could scarcely wait to walk through his doors and into his arms.

I'd come home debauched and ashamed and return to my steady relationship, vowing never again to give in to my base desires. But still I would return for more. Then the unthinkable happened. Mr Big came to my town and took up residence! Can you understand what that meant for me? I tried to stay away, but it was hopeless. I passed him on the street and he gave me smoldering looks that invited me to come to him and try something new, something deep, something delicious, something scandalous, something banned by decent people. And, oh god, I did, and I can't stop. I'm so ashamed.

I was seduced by Barnes & Noble.


Paul Adasiak said...


But seriously, the appeal of Barnes and Satan isn't something to be ashamed of, but we should take it as a sign that people seek something that they offer: (1) books, magazines, and music, (2) coffee and coffee-related drinks and snacks, and (3) a low-pressure place to sit down in comfortable chairs and read.

How hard could it be for some enterprising Fairbanksan to make a cozy place for people to drink coffee and read? I wonder if this is one of the lessons public libraries are supposed to learn from bookstores.

MizMagee said...

What!! You're suggesting that there should be even more places to be seduced? I shall be the city's most wanton book slut. Oooo! I like it!