Our refrigerators, ourselves

Refrigerators remind me of phrenology. You remember seeing those old illustrations with some hapless person's head all divided up like a butcher's chart? Except instead of being divided into cuts, the head is divided into regions, and the lumps and bumps in each region are supposed to shed light on that region's aspect of personality. I think you can do that with refrigerators and acquire deep insight into the owner's personality. Here are some refrigerator regions I've identified:

1. The Beverage Zone - anything beyond non-fat milk and high pulp orange juice can be very revealing.
2. The Half-used and Abandoned Condiment Region.
3. The It-was-bad-the-first-time Leftover Area.
4. The Out-of-sight-out-of-mind Scary Science Zone.
5. The Future Experiments with Weird Food Region.
6. The I-had-good-intentions Mushy Vegetable Zone.

Picture your refrigerator door. Now picture it with those zones drawn on it. See? You can diagram your refrigerator just like a phrenology head and gain insight into your subconscious mind. I'm giving you self-help advice for free! You should always read my blog. I rock!

In the interest of transparency, here are 10 things in my refrigerator:

1. Half empty can of Hershey's chocolate sauce.
2. Organic free range eggs (can't you just see little legs poking out of the shells as my eggs trotted around on the prairie!).
3. Box of baking soda that absorbed its last odor in 2003.
4. Bottle of Koon Chun Barbeque Sauce.
5. Day old pizza slices.
6. Half empty jar of dill pickle relish.
7. Cranberries (antioxident bonus points for me!) (See picture above; you were wondering how it related weren't you?).
8. Roll of polenta purchased last spring.
9. Sweet and sour guava sauce, best before 05/2007.
10. Half-eaten bar of Maya Gold chocolate, best before 08/2007.

I'll leave it to your imagination which regions those items came from.

What? You want a chart to tell you what particular regions and items might mean personality-wise? Are you kidding - after I've revealed what's in my refrigerator? Actually, I've included an interpretive chart in my book, Your refrigerator and you: if it's lurking in your frig, it's lurking in your mind. Look for it soon in book stores near you.

Now it's your turn! What's in your refrigerator?