Sunday, November 4, 2007

Archives battles deadly pest invasion and wins!

Reports of the capture and subsequent demise of that most feared rodent, Rattus archiverae drozdii, have been confirmed by this reporter after interviews and on the scene investigation at a well known historical repository in this northern city.

"We were appalled, disgusted and quite pleasurably grossed-out," remarked one witness who declined to be identified. Staff at the archives were first alerted to the possibility of a rodent invasion by the usual signs, which we will not go into here, feeling, as we do, that this scandal rag ... er, apex of journalistic endeavor shouldn't stoop to discussing matters of excretory function. As our illustration illustrates (note to self: find better wording), mousetraps were deployed and archives staff expected shortly to capture one of the more mundane of the rodent species. Shock and horror reigned upon the discovery of R. archiverae drozdii, a vicious specimen known for devouring not only precious historical documents, but also the occasional archivist! However, courageous staff soon dispatched the nasty beast and the archives was once again safe and sound.

Rattus achiverae drozdii was first identified as a separate species by the preeminant scientist, Dr. Ozda. Dr. Ozda has noted that R. archiverae drozdii can be identified by the unique characteristics of its eyes, particulary the yellow sclera and red irises, and by its unfortunate taste for the flesh of archivists, not to mention its remarkable overbite and the pugilistic set of its snout.

Our great northern city owes a debt of gratitude to the brave archivists who brought down this ravening beast and averted a catastrophe. We can all sleep more soundly knowing our historical documents are safe and so are our beloved archivists.

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